If you could get away with committing one crime, what would you do?

An unusual post today, just because the title was intriguing to me. I thought I would save it for a future blog post.

Now I am ready to consider what crime I would be likely to commit.

I don’t believe my so-called crime would be to rob a bank or injure a person. I think my crime would be a means of gaining more time. I could steal time ! Then again, perhaps I’ve been reading too many Terry Pratchett books. I am sure I remember a Thief of Time when reading about the Discworld, but would the universe unravel if I stole time ? What would I do with it ? Where would I keep it ?

If I stole time, not that I have any idea how to do it ! But just presuming I could, would I be able to bottle it and use it as required. Prescribe myself one drop of time to help me remember something I forgot. Two spoonfuls and I travel back 20 years. Bath in it and I return to my infancy ?

What would I do with it ?

My metaphorical bottle of time would help me to go back in time and see family that are no longer here, even a great, great, great Grandparent or visit far away places like Egypt when ruled by Pharaohs or see my hometown in the 1920’s or before it was redeveloped with concrete. Most of all, I would like to have more time with my family.

Where would I keep it ?

Well, presuming my bottle could hold time, I would stopper it and keep it with me  at all times. But, I think my bottle would need to be like Hermione’s bottomless carpet-bag, as I am sure there is so much time to bottle that it wouldn’t fit and I have a notion that time swirls around quite a bit, rather like an unsteady toddler learning to walk. Hence, I think my bottle would be made from plastic, as glass may break if time get’s a bit agitated ! I also believe time is clearly invisible, but as it moves around in captivity it would resemble mist.

Reading this back again, I see a problem with stealing time, in the fact that it would make me even busier than I am at the moment, and may not have the desired effect that I would wish, as I am not sure if time really wants you to jump in and out of it, as if hopping off a bus once you reach your desired destination.

But am I confusing time with immortality, they must be different ? If I could steal time would I be immortal because I would control time itself ? If  I really think about it, time is something to use and not control.

So, perhaps when considering to steal time I wouldn’t steal it at all. I should make more time. But since time is money, I would in essence be making money which was counterfeit, hence, I would be committing a crime – aha ! The penny drops. I have the motive – can I get away with it ?


  1. So if you can do a crime against the laws of physics, I’m going to attempt one against the laws of nature and say I’d like to be able to do without sleep. The upshot is the same – more time in the day, just a different approach.

  2. That’s a good one Ellen. I never thought of that!

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